I'm A Senior?

"Can you believe we're seniors?" Uh. No. I can't, to be absolutely honest. I can't get past the idea that I'm about to leave a routine that has been instilled in me since age four or five. It's all too strange to think that I'll be going to 'college' soon and that the big 1-8 isn't too far away. I mean, I'll be fucking legal!
"Man, I can't wait to get out of school."
"I know, right?" I say, like I'm totally agreeing with that. Truth is, I kind of am, but kind of not. I don't really know if I want to leave school. Or at least the security of it.
Once we graduate, it's all up to us. And our parents. I'll soon have to get a job---I've never had one before, I'm ashamed to admit--- and I'll have to pay taxes and recieve bills and have to deal with all this number business. Just thinking about the numbers scares me. The complexity, or perhaps the meaning of numbers totally freak me out. The meaning being that everything should add up right. Numbers, are numbers, a square is a box with all even sides...they all add up correctly.
But for me, things never turn out as they should. I always mess up, I always get confused and so I'm left in the dust. My numbers never add up as they should.
]But, ahh, that's just how it's been for me. Confusing sums that don't make sense. Confusing conclusions about life that seem completely irrelevent to what the problem was at hand. I guess I'll take things in stride. And get used to that.
Wait.
What am I talking about? I take everything in stride.
Always.
Sigh.
The curse of a procrastinator, it seems.