Holidays; Messy Rambling of Thoughts

I don't think people understand what holidays are like for me.
They almost always feel so...empty.
For example, I spent both Thanksgiving and Christmas at home, at one point alone while my mom and sister went out to a friend's house. I logged onto myspace and facebook far too many times to count, torturing myself by reading the status updates. Most of them saying things like:
"I love my family"
"My family is so funny"
"At Uncle Joe's or Aunt Yetta's house for dinner"
"Best [insert holiday here]"
"Lots of pictures to come; lots of fun!"
I wonder if they're really as happy as I imagine them to be. And then later when I look in pictures I wonder if they're just faking it.
Why can't holidays be the same for me? I can't really remember a Christmas, Easter, New Years or a Thanksgiving in which I felt content.
All I remember are mostly lonely nights, watching TV as others have fun or celebrate with family.
It makes me mad. Mad with a feeling of desperation, waiting for these days to be over and for friends to wind down from their "family time" so that I will have someone to talk to, to hang with...
My holiday's are lonely. Just me, my mother, my sister, my father. I should be content with that. So why can't I be? I re-read the status updates over and over again wondering what my family is missing, why I can't go ONE day of these without wanting to scream into my pillow...
Scream.
That's what I feel like doing.
Scream.
But I can't. Because I know that the only thing I'll get is my own echo.
It's just that empty.