I have an obsession with mirrors. When you walk into my room, you see three basic things on my walls: things I drew, collages, and mirrors. I never used to have mirrors. I was always afraid of what I would see. But there came a point where I decided that I had to see it. In fact, I had to check in on it every once in a while.
Every once in a while turned into every day.
Every day turned into ALL THE TIME.
Eventually, I couldn't stop.
At school I used to be obsessed with going into the bathroom and checking my reflection (even if I was never pleased with anything I saw). The point was to make sure my face wasn't as disfigured as I pictured it would be when I compared myself to other girls. Unfortunately, it was pointless at times. Sometimes there would be a prettier girl (blond, brown streaks in her hair, amazing curls, beautiful face, make up) and I would just walk out of there, completely intimidated. I would feel like a piece of crap. And yet my obsession continues.
At home, I still sit for in front of a mirror trying to see what I can change and what I can't do anything about. I pick at every flaw, but I also try to tell myself that it could be worse.
Conceited, right?
I like to tell myself that I'm far from it. Truth is that I'm not so sure myself. The boundaries lie far beyond my comprehension, so if I make a bitchy 'i'm so better than you' gesture, I'm not meaning to be that awful. I'm only meaning to prove to my reflections in my room that I'm actually worth something.
I recently heard a song a few days ago that completely captured my heart. I didn't know who it was by, because, well, I'm naive that way. But I realized it was by Never Shout Never; internet legacy. Of course it was beautiful, of course it stole my soul away. The oh-so-famous NSN sang it. And I used to think he was just a wanna-be.
On The Bright Side seems to target my obsession with mirrors. But it also lets me see, yes, "the bright side".
Every once in a while turned into every day.
Every day turned into ALL THE TIME.
Eventually, I couldn't stop.
At school I used to be obsessed with going into the bathroom and checking my reflection (even if I was never pleased with anything I saw). The point was to make sure my face wasn't as disfigured as I pictured it would be when I compared myself to other girls. Unfortunately, it was pointless at times. Sometimes there would be a prettier girl (blond, brown streaks in her hair, amazing curls, beautiful face, make up) and I would just walk out of there, completely intimidated. I would feel like a piece of crap. And yet my obsession continues.
At home, I still sit for in front of a mirror trying to see what I can change and what I can't do anything about. I pick at every flaw, but I also try to tell myself that it could be worse.
Conceited, right?
I like to tell myself that I'm far from it. Truth is that I'm not so sure myself. The boundaries lie far beyond my comprehension, so if I make a bitchy 'i'm so better than you' gesture, I'm not meaning to be that awful. I'm only meaning to prove to my reflections in my room that I'm actually worth something.
I recently heard a song a few days ago that completely captured my heart. I didn't know who it was by, because, well, I'm naive that way. But I realized it was by Never Shout Never; internet legacy. Of course it was beautiful, of course it stole my soul away. The oh-so-famous NSN sang it. And I used to think he was just a wanna-be.
On The Bright Side seems to target my obsession with mirrors. But it also lets me see, yes, "the bright side".
"You're only as tall as your heart will let you be. And you're only as small asMaybe it's because it's what I need to hear everyday, or because it's new and everyone loves it, but I know that this song is probably going to be played many times a day for me.
the world will make you seem. When the going gets rough and you feel like you may
fall just look on the brightside - you're roughly six feet tall."
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