I'm
losing my faith in humanity,
Period.
Or no---wait. I'm not losing my faith in humanity. Just in my ability to believe in fairy tales. Day after day I get more reason to believe that happily-ever-after endings don't exsist. What is it going to take to actually find something real? I hate watching the news. 90% is bad. Sometimes, maybe by a miracle, I hear a story that sort of makes me feel better...which is then followed by news that someone was run over a truck.
Huh.
Funny.
My parents are the perfect example that 'forever and always' usually means 'until we drive everyone in our family to the brink of severe depression'. It's odd, because, I used to think otherwise, you know? And then when life suddenly changed, (even if it was for the better) I understood that happiness is not something you find around the corner. I also understood that people tend to lie when they're afraid of losing everything. That it doesn't matter who they hurt. I understood that for some, just being with them for a long period of time was expected to keep them happy. And here I was, thinking that love actually meant both had to work for it.
Stupid, stupid me.
Then there's the matter of friends. Little by little I'm thinning out those who aren't best for me. Some of them have no fucking clue what real friendship is. It's not "she's my best friend but we don't really talk at all". It's not "oh lets hang out once a year". I mean, what the hell is that? And then there's the real friends. The ones you tend to treat like shit, but they're always with you when you need them. The ones you're totally comfortable being really silly with. The one's you can be completely spontanious with and know that if you decide to sit down infront of Walmart's book section to read, they will too. I still have faith that those do exist.
Rarely. Uber sigh.
Sometimes at night, I cry because I'm not sleepy and I have nothing else to do and the thought of texting someone just seems lame cuz, what's the point? And other times I cry because the simplest thing repeatedly scream that fairytales ARE. NOT. REAL.
What simple things, you may ask?
1. my mother and father
2. jon and kate
3. the fact that "angel at the fence" is a fake
4. that me and my sister fight so much
5. that rudy had to die
6. the sufferage of immigrants
7. that "she got pregnant and her bf left her" seems to be a new trend.
8. that you need to have an adult to enter Chuck E. Cheese
9. that Santa Clause is not real
10. and that God just seems to be a concept that people rely on when they're desperate for answers that aren't there.
losing my faith in humanity,
Period.
Or no---wait. I'm not losing my faith in humanity. Just in my ability to believe in fairy tales. Day after day I get more reason to believe that happily-ever-after endings don't exsist. What is it going to take to actually find something real? I hate watching the news. 90% is bad. Sometimes, maybe by a miracle, I hear a story that sort of makes me feel better...which is then followed by news that someone was run over a truck.
Huh.
Funny.
My parents are the perfect example that 'forever and always' usually means 'until we drive everyone in our family to the brink of severe depression'. It's odd, because, I used to think otherwise, you know? And then when life suddenly changed, (even if it was for the better) I understood that happiness is not something you find around the corner. I also understood that people tend to lie when they're afraid of losing everything. That it doesn't matter who they hurt. I understood that for some, just being with them for a long period of time was expected to keep them happy. And here I was, thinking that love actually meant both had to work for it.
Stupid, stupid me.Then there's the matter of friends. Little by little I'm thinning out those who aren't best for me. Some of them have no fucking clue what real friendship is. It's not "she's my best friend but we don't really talk at all". It's not "oh lets hang out once a year". I mean, what the hell is that? And then there's the real friends. The ones you tend to treat like shit, but they're always with you when you need them. The ones you're totally comfortable being really silly with. The one's you can be completely spontanious with and know that if you decide to sit down infront of Walmart's book section to read, they will too. I still have faith that those do exist.
Rarely. Uber sigh.
Sometimes at night, I cry because I'm not sleepy and I have nothing else to do and the thought of texting someone just seems lame cuz, what's the point? And other times I cry because the simplest thing repeatedly scream that fairytales ARE. NOT. REAL.
What simple things, you may ask?
1. my mother and father
2. jon and kate
3. the fact that "angel at the fence" is a fake
4. that me and my sister fight so much
5. that rudy had to die
6. the sufferage of immigrants
7. that "she got pregnant and her bf left her" seems to be a new trend.
8. that you need to have an adult to enter Chuck E. Cheese
9. that Santa Clause is not real
10. and that God just seems to be a concept that people rely on when they're desperate for answers that aren't there.
No comments:
Post a Comment